Fat girl vs Film-my adventure into public nudity for the sake of body positivity (part 2)

I did it!!!! ( I got completely naked for the camera! Sorry to keep you all in suspense but we were filming until 2am on Wednesday evening so I  had to catch up with sleep and what not yesterday. (If you don’t know what I’m babbling on about catch up by reading Fat girl vs Film-my adventure into public nudity for the sake of body positivity (part 1))

 Here is a little Vlog from on set.

 

But here I am, I took all of my clothes off and I stood in front of a group of people who filmed me naked. I do feel liberated but not to the point I thought I would, however I do feel more inspired and understanding of my body and mind and how they connect now. I think in me there is such a connection between body and mind that sometimes the length at which I over think things holds me back. Being instinctual and trying to quieten my mind in order to let my subconscious shine through is something I need to try and do more within my work and my general life.

As a performer I have learned that I need to listen to my instincts more and turn off my brain and let the subconscious do the work as when this happens I do work better and it often leads to some really great performances and creation.

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I have a lot to take from this experience, I can’t say I loved doing it and I can’t say I hated doing it, I certainly felt compelled to do it and am glad I did. I have always enjoyed pushing my limits and in the past few years I have done this a lot which has brought me to the current amazing situation I am in now in, making and being a part of living, moving art which is my passion. This passion has lead me all over in years gone by and now it leads me back to myself and a little phrase ‘do what you know’ comes to mind. What do I know better than my own body and mind right? nobody else knows them better than me. I want to couple that need for self exploration with the problems we have within our society regarding our outward form and the effect this can have on our minds, and I know that this experience has really helped me get an incite into how being told your body has to be a certain way to be displayed has a huge impact even when you think it hasn’t.

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My next step now is to have another good bloody natter! So I am going to try and organise another meet up via my Facebook page somewhere local to Newcastle upon tyne, so if your in the area and interested in chatting about your relationship with your body and many other things please do keep your eyes peeled for the event. However if you are from further afield please feel free to comment on the this post or on Facebook and share your stories and incites.

Hildy xx

Life’s not so bad being self employed

So good to get back to this blog!

Let’s catch up!

As of November 2016 I have been a fully self employed performer/ all round creative person which has so far been the most scary and satisfying experience.

I previously worked a 24hr a week job alongside all of my commitments as a performer, teacher and choreographer but it was making me desperately miserable and I needed to get out.

I spoke to my boyfriend on many occasions about the possibility of going back to university or other opportunities which he was happy to support me with and so I decided to say ‘Fudge it! I am going to do it’ (or words to that effect)  I handed my notice in and began my life as a free woman. Which after dreaming about it since I started working at the age of 16 seems like forever.

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(photo credit to Ben Martin)

In the past 5 months I have done everything from clowning to starring in a horror film (which may be the same thing for some) I feel like I have come so far learning about myself aas I go along.

I am now officially a cabaret performer with one act under my belt and another in production.

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(photo credit to Martin.J. Baty)

I can’t wait to see what comes next, a part of what comes next will be this blog. I want to use this as a platform to connect with other performers and give an incite to those who are interested in the life, pleasures and interests of a girl like me trying to make it in the performance industry, as a not so springing chicken (I’m now 28), curvy size 16. I know it’s going to be tough but I can’t help but be positive because I know how much I want it.

Thanks for joining me for this journey!

More coming soon…….

Hildy x

A little catch up

Hi everyone well sad times last week! It was my last week of vintage-fit before Xmas. I’m so proud of the girls who have been coming to class some for a year now! They have come on leaps and bounds and put up with my scatty-ness and I love them for if!!!

I’m also getting ready to settle into my new flat just a bit more DIY to do. My new base camp will be Gateshead so I’m trying to make some new contacts in the area so please do get in touch if you have any interest in what I do and your from my new area.
As well as that I got onto the chorus of Sweeney Todd which I am over the moon about I have no specific character but am hoping to use it as a learning experience (and the chorus which is huge and sounds amazing).
I also taught at Newcastle Does Vintage last Saturday which was super fun, some familiar faces as well as some lovely new ones two and a bit of bonding over jazz with Dan Arnold and Janet Style the fab duo perform on the stage next to me!
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Well lots of stretching and preparation to do so I better get on!
Some stretching tips coming soon as well as some xmas party dance tips.
HH x

A ‘shoulder pads’ week! And a smidge of politics!

Hi peeps!

Well first you may be wondering what a ‘shoulder pads week’ actually is! In my quite unusual mind this means a business week attending meetings doing courses etc, because whenever I think of or am referred to as a business women or small business owner I always imagine 1980’s business women in shoulder pads with huge 80’s mobile phones for some reason.

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So certainly a more positive blog this week even if a little later than usual however not that much has happened and I don’t have many pictures to show you from this week so one will just have to suffice!

First of all I have been really focusing on gaining funding both to do vintage dance workshops and for my other business Gladys Gladrags (www.gladysgladrags.wordpress.com) I am so passionate about providing a creative outlet not just for young people or older people but those people in the bracket between ages 25 and 50 who often are completely written off as needing nothing but to work and raise a family. What about the people who are like me and just want a little bit of recreation but who don’t earn a lot and can’t afford to go and have a hobby to learn new skills, gain confidence in themselves, relax, have some time to themselves and socialise (somewhere other than the pub).

I want to create this sort of hub of recreation of course it is all inclusive and anyone can join in the activities however my main aim is that age bracket who in actions rather than words are often told it is tough luck if they can’t afford to do these things and they just need to do more hours at work or get a second job (which a lot of people I know do have). That is not acceptable our society needs to accept that poverty in the ‘working classes’ (I hate to use a class system but unfortunately that is the awful truth at the moment) is a huge problem and needs addressing.

So I know that teaching people dance and crafts is not a necessity but it can help people to gain new skills, keep a physically healthy body as well as a healthy mind enabling them to relax, de-stress, have some rest-bite from family life and work which they might not be able to afford to do without a little help.

So following my own advice this week I have also done a little bit of recreation this week  so here is a little picture of me in my natural state 🙂

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So after this little rest I have been trying my utmost to make my business successful as well as being ethical and keeping to all of the ideals I promised I would not compromise on when I first started. A big help has been the South Tyneside Business Forum their events are very helpful and I would recommend them to any small business in the area.

I have also been planning paper craft workshops which will be held on May Day Monday 4th May, so come and drop b if you would like to learn to make paper flowers or if you would simply like to meet me and perhaps listen to me sing.

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Workshops will be held at Bedes World Museum (inside the museum) Church Bank, Jarrow, NE32 3DY.

between 12pm-1pm and 2pm-3pm

I will probably be performing in-between these times too.

So hope to see some of you guys and dolls then Hildy xx

A swinging time!

Hi guys and dolls,

I have had a wonderful time in the past couple of weeks doing a little bit of everything from teaching Vintage-fit every Monday, performing in Stockton’s Café Infinity for the lovely Heartisan events and sitting for the wonderful Bernadette Koranteng and her artists. The pictures that they created where beautiful I couldn’t believe their inspiration was little old me!

And at the fabulous Café Infinity I performed for the evening with a lovely view of the river Tees and The Endeavour Ship as my backdrop. I was made to feel so welcome by the staff and can’t wait to take them up on the offer to visit again!

So as usual here are a couple of photo’s from my week, enjoy  HH x

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