What a few weeks I have had! I don’t know about anyone else, but to me it always seems like you need copious amounts of time to be healthy. That is probably just me making excuses for myself but being busy always seems to impede my progress to being a healthy human being. The fact that I have terrible organisational skills when it comes to my personal life probably doesn’t help.
In my last post “Hildy’s Health Adventure: Psychotherapy with The Good Nature Company, what I’ve learnt so far.” I wrote about rewarding myself with food and how I had been advised by Julie my psychotherapist from The Good Nature Company to create another way to reward myself. She mentioned how prominent my inner child seems, as if that was a surprise to anyone, so suggested that a good way of keeping on top of rewarding myself without food would be to make a sticker chart! So that is exactly what I did. Now everyone who has seen this chart doesn’t really get it, basically because the chart doesn’t reward anything good in particular, I use it to stick a sticker on when I feel like I have done something that deserves one. So for example if I get a good chunk of my to do list done for the day I would usually treat myself later that day to some crisps or something I would consider to be a treat, now I have my chart I have tried to exchange that for a sticker on my chart. I also have a section for being upset or sad, so if I’m having a bit of a bad day instead of drowning my sorrows in cake I will put a sticker in that section ( this section needs enlarged!).
If I feel like the reward needs to be bigger than a sticker I have written some other bigger rewards on the back of my chart which I can dish out to myself where/when I feel I need to! I have definitely treated myself with quite a few small treats already and one or two medium treats too! I hadn’t realised it until writing this piece but this also shows you all how un-rock ‘n’ roll my life is. Yes Gardening is a treat! One of the fall backs of this chart is that in no way does putting a sticker on a chart feel as good as eating cake, I think getting used to that change will be very hard, which is why I have been dishing out the small treats from the back of my chart like there is no tomorrow.
One of the issues I have really struggled with in this reward swap is time. I don’t know about anyone else, but eating a packet of crisps for me takes no time whereas most of the non-food treats I have thought of and put into practice tend to take up a lot more time. I already struggle with not having enough time in the day as it is, so with these little things on top of that has taken it’s toll on my work load and I really can’t say they are as convenient as cake. This is something I suppose I just need to make time for and accept but over the past couple of weeks been so busy that I have still used food as a reward.
I know that this is not going to be an overnight change, the temptation is high and the rewards at the moment don’t quite fill the gaps of the old ones (food). I have rewarded myself with food since creating the chart, I know that this habit is so ingrained inm e it will take a long time and lot’s of effort to make the shift.
But I’m working on it and have tried to at least do half and half over the past couple of very busy weeks. Let’s see if I can keep it up!
Anyone reading this in the same position as me I would really suggest giving this a go it certainly gives you a better idea of when/where and why you reward yourself with food.
Well the past few weeks have been an interesting few! I have been seeing Julie a psychotherapist from The Good Nature Company. (If you want to catch up then visit my previous blog HERE). Our first session was great we discussed lot’s, mostly about me, and got to know each other a little bit better. I was expecting these sessions to be quite emotionally charged with me being such an emotional person, but somehow I was calm and collected. Speaking to someone like Julie was kind of like seeing myself from an outside perspective which was quite refreshing. I often get bogged down in the should have, would have, could have scenario and I think addressing my issues from the root cause is what is going to help me accept myself further. From all of the soul searching i have done over the past year or too I know that eating healthily and exercising just isn’t enough! I don’t just have a fat body, I have a fat brain! If I can’t accept my fat self how am I ever going to A/get to a healthy weight and B/ accept myself when I get there. Won’t I just want more and more and the acceptance will never be there?
In this first session we set some, I’m going to call them “Goals of Discovery”, meaning certain things I wanted to find out and understand about me/yself. As I have discussed in previous blogs, I am an emotional eater and it’s not just when I’m sad or upset, but when I’m happy, when I have achieved something etc. I use food as a reward. If I have had a really good day I feel I deserve something “delicious” and if I have a terrible day or something bad happens or I’m just generally feeling a bit sad or out of sorts I think something “delicious” will cheer me up. Which is why I am on a mission to break this cycle and finally start moving forward with a healthier way of thinking about food.
Baby Hildy age 4
Julie and I discussed a lot about my family, who else had weight problems and where/when these emotional eating habits started to kick in. We worked through from being a very small child to my teenage years. We discussed life events and why these habits may have come into my way of coping. We also decided that I have a very strong inner child which came as no surprise to me. We got talking about how my inner child is basically my emotions and my adult self is my practical mind. My emotions need acknowledged they can not be ignored and when they are not satisfied they throw a tantrum and end up being all controlling. What I need to do is satisfy both and find a balance between them in order to take complete control responsibility for myself or “Own It” as the kids say.
Baby Hildy age 3
So I was given a bit of homework to start weaning myself off rewarding with food and satisfying the creative child within (and out) by making an amazing sticker chart with small and large rewards for achievements and emotions I would usually cope with or reward with food.
I know I have been slightly quiet for a while, but it is mainly because I have really had to delve inside myself over the past few weeks and that can take it’s toll mentally which hasn’t left much time for blogging at the same time which I really never expected to happen. I felt like I needed some time to come to terms with what at the moment feels like a rather large job ahead!
There are a few issues which I just need to put my whole heart and mind into solving, which I will tell you all about later.
But for now here is an introduction to the lovely Julie from The Good Nature Company who will be giving me some Psychotherapy sessions we will be looking at the reasons I have emotional eating patterns and how I can take control of that.
Here is a little video from our first session and an introduction to what we will be exploring over the coming weeks.
Well I have had a fantastic week since my final hypnosis session. The bodily reaction will probably be slower than you all might like but to me this really is a good thing. It means that this is a life change that is very much do-able. It’s not a quick fix I am after, I don’t just want to lose a few pounds to fit into a dress I like. I really want to change my life! I want to look after my body and mind to the best of my ability and have the control and strength to that. I have not denied myself this week, I have simply tried to make better decisions and I very much believe the hypnotherapy sessions I have been receiving from Hummingbird Mind Therapy have been an integral part of me being able to gain that self control I have so long needed.
Here is a little vlog on how I have been feeling and how the final session (for now) went.
My life has been slightly chaotic over the past two weeks. I have been working hard and playing harder than usual too. So I wasn’t exactly sure how this week would pan out.
After my second session with silvia last Wednesday I really had quite a different experience/feeling after being under hypnosis. The first time I felt super strong and motivated after our first session but the feeling subsided after a few days and I ended up having a big cheat day. This time I had a much more subtle reaction. It is still a positive but much more stable feeling and it’s very much stayed with me the full week.
So here is a little vlog about how I have been feeling this week.
Well it’s around a full week since I had my first hypnosis session, I was feeling really good for most of the week. I am certainly feeling stronger willed not to eat food that is not good for my body, I had a couple of slip ups but I have lost around 2 lb. For my first session though I honestly think the hypnosis has worked I really think it has helped me to control myself and able to resist food that is not healthy and food that I do not need.
Here is a little bit of a video diary about how I’ve been getting on over the past week.
I have been having a bit of a life overhaul of late. Trying to figure out how I can make everything work together, work-life-money balance is something that I have always struggled with as an adult. Because I am so passionate about my work it seems to often take over my life and at the moment the ‘sitting in front of my laptop’ side of things has really had a negative effect on me. I have been stuck doing so much admin and social media trying to get Dance Culture North East up and running that I have hardly had time to train and be the physical person that I once was. Over the past few months I have realised how much this has made me unhappy with my body and that is now effecting my confidence as a performer. It can’t be good for my health either.
So I have decided to set myself a little quest over the next four months I will endeavour to change my bad habits and lead a healthier life. Not just looking at diet and fitness, but delving into my mind to discover how I can make realistic and positive changes that will stick. “But Hildy” I hear you cry “I thought you were a body positivity promoter and believe that you don’t have to be skinny etc to be happy”. Well, yes I do believe that, but when you aren’t looking after yourself properly and your health, both mental and physical is effected it’s really time to make changes! I didn’t want to be alone on this journey, so I thought I would blog about it and bring you all along for what I’m sure will be a bit of a roller coaster ride! Over the next four months (May-August) I will be exploring different therapies, workouts, nutritional advice, classes and workshops to try and find my work-life balance and generally improve my health, happiness and wellbeing.
Hypnosis with HUMMINGBIRD Mind Therapy
I Began my journey on 1st May with a session at Humming bird Mind Therapy . I opted for the Wellbeing Package which consists of three sessions that I will be attending weekly. I must admit my main aim for these sessions are some self control where food is concerned, I want my diet to give me more energy setting me up for those really busy weeks, address some confidence issues as well as break some really bad (hard to banish) emotional eating habits to gain some self control and strength.
Before we started my first session we did a short video to introduce what Hypnosis is all about! Want to know how it all went and if it worked? Come back on MONDAY to find out………..