The Myth Of London For Artists.

By Hildy Harland

Throughout my whole life as a northern performer especially as a child, London has been a place of myth and legend for me, the Unicorn of the UK. I have a bit of Puss In Boots-itus when it comes to our capital, but I definitely don’t think that this is my fault and honestly the older I get the more unfair it seems. In this age of media influence (I realise the irony of me stating this through media) we are increasingly taught that London is the place to be, you’ve made it if you live or work there, you’re a big player, someone to take notice of, a success. I even had it from an ex-boyfriend of mine after stumbling across him in a pub (not literally) a year or so after we split “Oh hi, so what are you doing now? I thought you would be living in London by now?”. It’s everywhere! People get taught it at universities, particularly in the dance and performance industries after all most castings are held in London even for companies that aren’t even based there.

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So my question is WHY? Why do we have to have such a segregated community that is so influential and greedy? Yes it might sound a bit harsh to call it greedy, but for me it feels that way. At the moment as a Northern artist 100 miles north of Leeds, I feel like we are really getting the crappy end of the stick and I for one am sick of it. As a country the arts have been hit hard when it comes to public money, funding and general support and recognition, it is a struggle for anyone to get their hands on any kind of funding or commercial success and with the extra kick in the teeth by Brexit and Global Pandemic the industry is setting up to recover from even harder times. So isn’t it only fair that as artists and arts industry professionals we make sure we are spreading what we do have across the country as much as we can? Is’nt it only fair that we make these changes as we come into a new era post pandemic after watching shows from all over the UK online, participating in classes and workshops that we now, more than ever ,should be make casting and just our communities in general less london-centric, particularly in the film and TV sector.

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Now I know at this point some of you maybe feel like I’m not appreciating what we do have, such as some of the fantastic theatres and organisations we have in let’s call it the ‘North-North’, which really isn’t the point of this blog, I really believe we have some amazingly talented and hardworking arts venues and arts professionals . However there is so much more we can do to put a stop to this over idealisation of our capital and I feel like we all need to be aware of doing this and try to stop it or at least tone it down. Why can’t a northern city not be just as amazing to live and work in as London as a performer, producer etc? Why can’t the big companies come to us? It’s all about how we see and value ourselves or our region and often as hard as it is to admit we feel or have been made to feel by others because we have a regional accent and/or because we are based 300 miles from London that we a are not as important as good or as valid as artists, companies or organisations.

Now I will admit that this blog has been triggered by a few things happening in my own life, so maybe I am completely on my own with this and just ranting to make myself feel better, or maybe this is something you all feel at times? I can tell you this is not a negative thing for me, if anything it has made me more determined to put the effort into working together with other companies and organisations to bring opportunities in the “North North”. But I would love to hear your thoughts and start a bit of a conversation

If you enjoyed my blog you can buy me a coffee HERE

 

 

 

 

Hildy’s Health Adventure: Psychotherapy with The Good Nature Company. Let’s get physical!!!!

What a few weeks I have had! I don’t know about anyone else, but to me it always seems like you need copious amounts of time to be healthy. That is probably just me making excuses for myself but being busy always seems to impede my progress to being a healthy human being. The fact that I have terrible organisational skills when it comes to my personal life probably doesn’t help.

In my last post “Hildy’s Health Adventure: Psychotherapy with The Good Nature Company, what I’ve learnt so far.” I wrote about rewarding myself with food and how I had been advised by Julie my psychotherapist from The Good Nature Company to create another way to reward myself. She mentioned how prominent my inner child seems, as if that was a surprise to anyone, so suggested that a good way of keeping on top of rewarding myself without food would be to make a sticker chart! So that is exactly what I did. Now everyone who has seen this chart doesn’t really get it, basically because the chart doesn’t reward anything good in particular,  I use it to stick a sticker on when I feel like I have done something that deserves one. So for example if I get a good chunk of my to do list done for the day I would usually treat myself later that day to some crisps or something I would consider to be a treat, now I have my chart I have tried to exchange that for a sticker on my chart. I also have a section for being upset or sad, so if I’m having a bit of a bad day instead of drowning my sorrows in cake I will put a sticker in that section ( this section needs enlarged!).

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If I feel like the reward needs to be bigger than a sticker I have written some other bigger rewards on the back of my chart which I can dish out to myself where/when I feel I need to! I have definitely treated myself with quite a few small treats already and one or two medium treats too! I hadn’t realised it until writing this piece but this also shows you all how un-rock ‘n’ roll  my life is. Yes Gardening is a treat! One of the fall backs of this chart is that in no way does putting a sticker on a chart feel as good as eating cake, I think getting used to that change will be very hard, which is why I have been dishing out the small treats from the back of my chart like there is no tomorrow.

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One of the issues I have really struggled with in this reward swap is time. I don’t know about anyone else, but eating a packet of crisps for me takes no time whereas most of the non-food treats I have thought of and put into practice tend to take up a lot more time. I already struggle with not having enough time in the day as it is, so with these little things on top of that has taken it’s toll on my work load and I really can’t say they are as convenient as cake. This is something I suppose I just need to make time for and accept but over the past couple of weeks been so busy that I have still used food as a reward.

I know that this is not going to be an overnight change, the temptation is high and the rewards at the moment don’t quite fill the gaps of the old ones (food). I have rewarded myself with food since creating the chart, I know that this habit is so ingrained inm e it will take a long time and lot’s of effort to make the shift.

But I’m working on it and have tried to at least do half and half over the past couple of very busy weeks. Let’s see if I can keep it up!

Anyone reading this in the same position as me I would really suggest giving this a go it certainly gives you a better idea of when/where and why you reward yourself with food.

If you would prefer to get some more in-depth bespoke advice get in touch with Julie by visiting THE GOOD NATURE COMPANY website HERE.29244351_193565954753070_5659912579888185344_n

Hildy’s Health Adventure: Psychotherapy with The Good Nature Company, what I’ve learnt so far.

Well the past few weeks have been an interesting few! I have been seeing Julie a psychotherapist from The Good Nature Company. (If you want to catch up then visit my previous blog HERE). Our first session was great we discussed lot’s, mostly about me, and got to know each other a little bit better. I was expecting these sessions to be quite emotionally charged with me being such an emotional person, but somehow I was calm and collected. Speaking to someone like Julie was kind of like seeing myself from an outside perspective which was quite refreshing. I often get bogged down in the should have, would have, could have scenario and I think addressing my issues from the root cause is what is going to help me accept myself further. From all of the soul searching i have done over the past year or too I know that eating healthily and exercising just isn’t  enough! I don’t just have a fat body, I have a fat brain! If I can’t accept my fat self how am I ever going to A/get to a healthy weight and B/ accept myself when I get there. Won’t I just want more and more and the acceptance will never be there? 

In this first session we set some, I’m going to call them “Goals of Discovery”, meaning certain things I wanted to find out and understand about me/yself. As I have discussed in previous blogs, I am an emotional eater and it’s not just when I’m sad or upset, but when I’m happy, when I have achieved something etc. I use food as a reward. If I have had a really good day I feel I deserve something “delicious” and if I have a terrible day or something bad happens or I’m just generally feeling a bit sad or out of sorts I think something “delicious” will cheer me up. Which is why I am on a mission to break this cycle and finally start moving forward with a healthier way of thinking about food. 

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Baby Hildy age 4

 

Julie and I discussed a lot about my family, who else had weight problems and where/when these emotional eating habits started to kick in. We worked through from being a very small child to my teenage years. We discussed life events and why these habits may have come into my way of coping. We also decided that I have a very strong inner child which came as no surprise to me. We got talking about how my inner child is basically my emotions and my adult self is my practical mind. My emotions need acknowledged they can not be ignored and when they are not satisfied they throw a tantrum and end up being all controlling.  What I need to do is satisfy both and find a balance between them in order to take complete control responsibility for myself or “Own It” as the kids say. 

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Baby Hildy age 3

So I was given a bit of homework to start weaning myself off rewarding with food and satisfying the creative child within (and out) by making an amazing sticker chart with small and large rewards for achievements and emotions I would usually cope with or reward with food.  

I can’t wait to get started!

Hildy’s Health Adventure: Psychotherapy, exploring my mental health.

with The Good Nature Company

I know I have been slightly quiet for a while, but it is mainly because I have really had to delve inside myself over the past few weeks and that can take it’s toll mentally which hasn’t left much time for blogging at the same time which I really never expected to happen. I felt like I needed some time to come to terms with what at the moment feels like a rather large job ahead!

There are a few issues which I just need to put my whole heart and mind into solving, which I will tell you all about later.

But for now here is an introduction to the lovely Julie from The Good Nature Company who will be giving me some Psychotherapy sessions we will be looking at the reasons I have emotional eating patterns and how I can take control of that.

Here is a little video from our first session and an introduction to what we will be exploring over the coming weeks.

 

Hildy’s Health Adventure: KW Fitness 13 day Kick Start to Fitness and a bit of an epiphany!

Today I started the first of thirteen days of fitness videos by KW fitness. They are designed to give you a kick start into a manageable regime by giving you a step by step or rather day by day guide to an all over body workout. Today I will be starting day one which is based around legs.

I also had a bit of an experience this weekend. Talking openly about my true feelings around food, emotional eating, food obsession and being overweight is something I have always struggled with. Yes I joke about it tonnes and talk about it, but very rarely in a true and completely honest way. This weekend I did that, and not only did I do it, I chatted about it to a room full of people who have no idea what it is like to be like this none of these people had ever been overweight.

Take a look at the Vlog for more!

Want to find out more about KW Fitness Visit the FB Page HERE.

If you would like to try out KW Fitness’s 13 Day Kick Start To Fitness Click HERE

Hildys Health Adventure: Post 3rd Hypnosis Session

Well I have had a fantastic week since my final hypnosis session. The bodily reaction will probably be slower than you all might like but to me this really is a good thing. It means that this is a life change that is very much do-able. It’s not a quick fix I am after, I don’t just want to lose a few pounds to fit into a dress I like. I really want to change my life! I want to look after my body and mind to the best of my ability and have the control and strength to that. I have not denied myself this week, I have simply tried to make better decisions and I very much believe the hypnotherapy sessions I have been receiving from Hummingbird Mind Therapy have been an integral part of me being able to gain that self control I have so long needed.

Here is a little vlog on how I have been feeling and how the final session (for now) went. 

Hildy’s Health Adventure:Post Second Hypnosis Session.

My life has been slightly chaotic over the past two weeks. I have been working hard and playing harder than usual too. So I wasn’t exactly sure how this week would pan out.

After my second session with silvia last Wednesday I really had quite a different experience/feeling after being under hypnosis. The first time I felt super strong and motivated after our first session but the feeling subsided after a few days and I ended up having a big cheat day. This time I had a much more subtle reaction. It is still a positive but much more stable feeling and it’s very much stayed with me the full week.

So here is a little vlog about how I have been feeling this week.

 

Hildy Harland in Dark Christmas

A few weeks back I shared a video of some of my choreography from Dark Christmas, a play I was part of over Christmas 2017. It was pretty well received so I thought I would also share one of my scenes from the play too. I played Helga wife of the main protagonist William.

Take a look below and feel free to SUBSCRIBE to my channel for more performances, dance, reviews, vlogs and more!

Hildy’s Health Adventure: Post first Hypnosis session

Well it’s around a full week since I had my first hypnosis session, I was feeling really good for most of the week. I am certainly feeling stronger willed not to eat food that is not good for my body, I had a couple of slip ups but I have lost around 2 lb. For my first session though I honestly think the hypnosis has worked I really think it has helped me to control myself and able to resist food that is not healthy and food that I do not need.

Here is a little bit of a video diary about how I’ve been getting on over the past week.